Category: Parent Talk
I realize this parent board is mostly for parents with young babies and the discussions are often about formula and pooh.
Well I realize there's no formula for what I'm after, but here's what amounts to as the pooh.
I find my daughter will get herself worked into a spaz attack - realize now days that may seem not politically correct, and I only used that term once on her ...but usually it's when she's trying to figure something out, then gets frustrated, and basically starts to spazz.
The problem is, the problem may increase in gross disproportion to the spazzing, paper can get crumpled that was otherwise needed for the assignment, much time gets lost while she gets worked up ... about the time lost itself. It's not a fit, or even an attempt to get us to say she doesn't have to finish the assignment or something. On the contrary she's quite responsible with her stuff. It's only when coming for assistance, or coming to the point where she might find she needs help, and the problem magnifies itself.
I'm quite firmly convinced it's no 'bad behavior' here, as there would be no gain. There's not even an attempt to get us to "let up" or something, because there's nothing to let up. I guess what I want to help her figure out is, as I said to her tonight, Emotions aren't bad, they just have no tork. They're more like gasoline than they are like a drive shaft. I don't know how else to tell her - though drive shafts and tork mean little to her. I don't know how to get her to stop in time, take a breather, before she basically spazzes. I'm sure some of it's normal, and I know the resultant mother-daughter friction is equally normal ... but if anyone's got ideas I'll take them.
The mother-daughter friction is very normal. There will be yelling, screaming, crying, slamming of doors, and arguments about things ranging from cereal brands to clothing to curfew.
The homework emotional meltdown is also normal, I went through that bit. If you can hear her working herself up, just remind her to go take a break. Tell her to go for a walk, listen to some music, punch a pillow or something for ten to fifteen minutes or so and then return to the assignment. Sometimes things just get too big to handle right off.
The break is a really good idea. Try doing something pleasurable with her when you see the build up coming.
FM